tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57790966603342194192024-03-05T20:27:30.935-07:00What Did You Say?Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-66005136846087718312012-09-12T01:21:00.001-06:002012-09-12T02:05:57.499-06:00Here we go again...I can't believe we are here again. Who am I kidding? I always feared this is where we would be. I always worried that the Cancer would return. Everyone knows someone who had cancer, it went into remission and then it came back. Maybe once more, maybe twice, but it just seems to keep coming back. I call Cancer the gift that keeps on giving. And it's not a gift you would ever want.<br />
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My husband has APML - Acute Promylogenic Leukemia. It's a Cancer with a 92% cure rate and Jack was in the low risk category for relapse. He was diagnosed on April 13, 2011, the day after my 36th birthday. He was immediately admitted to Huntsman Cancer Hospital where he spent about 6 wks. He was so sick. He obviously needed help. A blood transfusion improved things immediately but that was followed by chemotherapy which just does a number on your body. He lost a lot of weight. Lost his hair. Had blood vessels burst in his eyes from the violent vomiting. His mouth filled with canker sores and I will never forget the day I walked in to see a shell of what was my husband - paper thin skin, sunken and dark eyes, shivering so hard that the entire hospital bed shook. That is never how you want to see someone you love.<br />
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But, he improved and eventually got to come home. I will never forget surprising the kids. It wasn't over but he got to come home. That was followed by 3 months of infusion chemo and then what was supposed to be 2 yrs of oral chemo. He had reached molecular remission with a low risk of relapse. That was a year ago. Just over a year into maintenance oral chemo, his Cancer returned. That was this past Thursday. Just under a week ago. And now he is back at Huntsman Cancer Hospital.<br />
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The information this time around has been slow to come. The doctors who were detailed and specific last time are vague and use terms like "probable" and "likely" which make me uncomfortable. I can't help but feel like they are keeping things from us so they won't freak us out. But I am already freaked out.<br />
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Jack is being treated with Arsenic. So far, it hasn't made him sick. But I noticed today that he seems tired. Before, he never wanted us to leave. Today he wanted to take a nap and didn't protest our leaving early. I have such anxiety about what is to come. From what I have been able to determine, he will be receiving this treatment for approximately 60 days. Following that, the "probable" thing will be a bone marrow transplant. Everyone throws that phrase around as if it's a simple procedure. As if you just take from one and give to another. I have decided that this is because the aftermath of such a procedure is beyond difficult, stressful, and pretty much every other similar word you could insert here. I am honestly terrified to be the one who is going to be primarily responsible for his care. I feel a burden that it will be my efforts that will make a life or death difference. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know why I was chosen to do this. I don't know why he was the lucky one who gets to face such an ordeal. I wish I had a way to make it go away and we could just go on with the life we envisioned for ourselves and for our sweet children who, it breaks my heart, will have to endure this with us.<br />
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Again, I find myself in a place where I know I need to find it in me to pray but I am working so hard right now to bury my emotions and keep from falling into a million pieces that that I just can't bring myself to do it because I know as soon as I get on my knees, all those defenses that I have been crafting will come down and I will lose the only thing left that I have any control over.<br />
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Really, I just don't know if I am strong enough to do this. I really just don't know. Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-19692616095661948492011-06-01T00:06:00.000-06:002011-06-01T00:06:01.571-06:00FrustrationI got to go out with some amazing women tonight. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and had good food and good conversation. It was fun. I enjoyed it. But there was this underlying feeling of just not fitting in. Anywhere. I don't fit in the conversations about plans. I can't make plans right now. I worry that I am a drag. That I bring everyone down. I miss the days when I could go out with friends and make people laugh, when I didn't feel like I had to try SO HARD to just feel like I had anything to offer to anyone. No one wants to be around the person who is like me right now. I don't want to be around me right now. It's like I have all these emotions swirling around under the surface that are taunting me. I can't seem to figure out how to even be in touch with myself let alone anyone else. I feel like the person who came late to the movie and therefore doesn't know how to catch up on the story. <br />
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I am tired already of feeling like the one who needs people, desperately needs people. I try to open up and be honest. I try to allow myself to be vulnerable but then because of so many past hurts, I worry that I made a mistake and then I don't know where to turn to find any sort of peace. I know I need to just bring myself down, get on my knees and find the words to pray but then I'm going to be left in a puddle of tears and I guess I am afraid of what emotions that might reveal. I want control over how I feel and control is the very thing that I can't have right now. I feel as though I put on the appearance of calm but underneath it all is a raging storm, so much internal conflict, so much that I am afraid of. I feel like the weakest creature on earth who has to appear strong just to make it through each day. How pathetic is that? Really.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-26698775215311880632011-05-31T11:47:00.000-06:002011-05-31T11:47:51.122-06:00Am I enough?I think that is the question that is plaguing me right now. We have been through a life changing experience, both from different perspectives. I am anxious for life to feel "normal" again just so I can breathe like normal again. He feels like he has wasted his life, not spent enough time with the kids, not spent enough time with me. He wants everything to change. <br />
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What if he decides that I was a waste of his time? What if I am not enough for him, not enough fun, not spontaneous enough, not enough anything? What if I can't adapt to how he wants life to be? I don't even know how he wants life to be. I feel like I have always worried that he will decide I am not worth it. Even before the cancer. He has worked hard with school and work, making it possible for me to be home with my kids. I consider this a gift. But I know it has been hard on him. And I guess deep inside I feel that I am not worth it and I am just waiting for him to figure that out. What if this is what leads to him figuring that out? Then what? <br />
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And yet part of me feels like I am being ridiculous. I know he loves me. The problem is me. And although I have tried to fix that for years, a solution eludes me.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-52521925599782411442011-05-30T18:30:00.000-06:002011-05-30T19:03:51.001-06:00Elie Wiesel once said, "I write to understand as much as to be understood.”<br /><br />It's been forever since I have been here but recent events have had me searching for an outlet, a place to sort my thoughts and feelings as much as to understand why I feel the way I do. It would also be nice to someday look back and see where I was now versus where I will be then. I wrote the following in an email to some friends of mine: <br /><br />"On April 9th, which was a snowy Saturday, my husband went to my parents to work on the facing on their foundation. Neither of us wanted him to go but my dad was paying him and we needed the money so he went. In hindsight, that decision may have saved his life. He worked there for about 10 hours in the snow. He had to move an old wood pile that my dad was getting rid of (he bagged it so we could take it camping this summer). He came home later that night and life was normal. Or so we thought. <br /> <br />The next morning, we got up and took the kids to church. His brother was coming over for dinner so we came home and he worked on his Microbiology paper while I cleaned up the house a bit. He kept complaining that he was cold. That was a theme all night. Pretty soon he was wearing a sweatshirt, which he never does. He kept checking the thermostat in the house but it was set at 70. He was just really cold. We went to bed that night and I expected that he would be at work when I got up the next day. The kids had Spring Break and we were sleeping in. :) I remember the alarm going off and him sitting up in bed and just sitting there. I kept dozing back off but didn't ever hear his car leave. I figured I slept through it. So I went back to sleep and figured things were fine. <br /> <br />I got up around 9 when my 2 yr old woke me up. We came downstairs and found Jack asleep on the couch. He heard us come down and I asked him what had happened. He was running a fever and had been up all night vomitting. He was shivering from the fever. I convinced him to attempt to keep down some advil to help with the fever which he did. He got up and went upstairs to go to bed. He slept literally all day. We were worried because his brother was getting married on Thursday and we were afraid that we would all get sick for the wedding. But no one caught it. <br /> <br />That night, same thing. Vomiting and fever. The next day, April 12th, was my birthday. My kids got up early and made me pancakes and brought me breakfast in bed. He slept through it. I went and did my cub scouts activity. I woke him up around 4 pm to see if he was going to try to make it to class. He said he needed to see a doctor. I didn't question it which I normally do because I stress the co-pay. Money is always so tight for us. I think somewhere inside me, I knew he was really sick. He thought that he might have gotten Hantavirus from moving that wood pile. I figured that sounded possible and I knew that half of the people that get that don't survive it. And I had never seen him this sick before. So I asked my friend, Kylie, to watch our kids and took him to the Afterhours Clinic. <br /> <br />When we got there, I noticed that he looked yellow. Really yellow. We were put in a room and followed the normal doctors office procedures. The doctor came in and told us that Hantavirus doesn't get contracted as far North as we live and so it wouldn't be that. They did an influenza test which was negative. The doctor came in and said, "Good news! The influenza test is negative." My reply.... "how is that good news?"<br /> <br />They did urine and blood tests. His bilirubin was super high as was his glucose in his urine. They said they would call us the next day with the blood results. Then he asked us a bunch of questions about exposure to Hepatitis C or a history of Liver failure in his family. We both suspected when we left that it was something bad. He dropped into bed. I couldn't sleep. It was a long night of googling symptoms and not liking the stuff I found. But I discounted every Cancer link. I mean, we are in our 30s. Ya know?<br /> <br />The next morning was insane. It was the day before the wedding. We were supposed to get the kids' hair cut and prepare food for a huge rehearsal dinner later that night. I got up early and got ready so I could get all the things done I needed to do. Jack's boss called early as well to find out how he was doing. She said he left a message for her to call. He doesn't remember doing that. I told her we would keep her posted. The clinic opened at 9 am. At 9:03, his cell phone rang and he looked at it, didn't recognize the number and wasn't going to answer it. He was so tired. I told him he needed to, it might be the doctor. And it was. I watched his face carefully to see his reaction to what was being said. And the next 10 minutes went by in a frenzy. He needed something to write on which I scrambled for. He would write down an address and a time and then looked up and just looked at me, almost through me. I started pacing, listening to his side of the conversation. I knew from what he said and what I saw him write that we were seeing an Oncologist and that is never good news. My mind raced for a way to make it be wrong, searched for a way that we could fix it. He got off the phone and said that his bone marrow had stopped producing regular cells, that we needed to be at this appt later that day and that we couldn't tell his parents or his family because we couldn't ruin his brother's wedding day. Then he went back to sleep. <br /> <br />I couldn't eat. I couldn't hardly breathe. I called my SIL take my ingredients so she could prepare my food. I knew I had to tell her and swear her to secrecy if I wanted her to do it for me, which she did. I took my kids for a haircut which was not at all what I wanted to do. I got ahold of my mom to come stay with my kids. Her dad died of Cancer when she was 12. Her parents were so close to our ages that it just hit way too close to home. She didn't even have to say it. I knew exactly how this would be for her. My daughter is 12. <br /> <br />We went to the Oncology clinic. First thing I notice is that there are people in the other room sitting in chairs getting their treatment. They are all bald, no eyebrows, wearing hats and robes. It was too much reality for one moment and I almost threw up. What were we facing? How was our life going to change? How were we going to keep our house? My husband just barely graduated as a Registered Nurse 9 months before. He worked toward that goal for 7 yrs and finally achieved it and now this? My heart broke for him in that moment, it broke for what my kids were going to have to go through. And then there was fear. Profound fear. I fumbled with my insurance card and another co pay which I all of a sudden couldn't have cared less about. I filled out paperwork and showed him where to sign. Just being upright was a challenge for him at this point. They did more bloodwork and put us in a room. The nurse told us that when the doctor came in, they would have the results. <br /> <br />We waited. He told me things that he had never told me before. Things I didn't need to know that had nothing to do with me and had no bearing on "us." But he didn't want there to be any secrets between us. And we waited some more. Pretty soon the doctor came in and made some small talk. I couldn't help but laugh to myself because no matter how many times he had done this, it didn't seem to be easy for him. He started telling us his numbers. His hematocrit should be around 60 but his was 21. His white cell count should be around 15,000. His was under 400. His blood had blasts in it as well as tear shaped cells which he started to explain. My mind was racing. I was sure they were going to tell us that there was nothing they could do. I felt faint. The nurse noticed and made me leave. I made it 2 steps out the door and had to sit on the floor against the wall so I didn't pass out. They brought me juice and I felt like the worst wife in the world. Here my husband was getting the worst news of his life and I couldn't suck it up and be there for him. Once I felt better, I went back in. I wasn't screwing around. I wanted a diagnosis and a prognosis. The numbers meant nothing to me. He told me that my husband had Acute Leukemia. They weren't sure which kind and therefore couldn't give me a prognosis. But, they couldn't treat it there. They had already contacted the Huntsman Cancer Institute an hour away and they had accepted him. They were just waiting on a room number. We were told that we should go home and pack a bag and head straight there. They said to plan on being there a month or longer. <br /> <br />I called my mom. Then we drove home. He asked me to find him pictures of the kids. I couldn't imagine how we were going to tell the kids. But we did. We packed his stuff. I found pictures. And we sat our kids down. We told them that daddy was really sick and had to go to the hospital for a while so they could make him better. They sobbed. Except the 2 yr old who jumped on the couch. We held them for a few minutes and then had to leave our children in tears with their grandma. It was awful. <br /> <br />We checked him into the hospital that night. We spoke with a team of hemotologists, a team of oncologists, internal medicine doctors, infectious disease doctors, and a series of nurses and techs. We had to tell the symptoms over and over. Then we were faced with paperwork, told he would likey be sterile so we needed to decide if we wanted to spend the money to bank a sample, which we couldn't afford. We had just started trying for one last baby, a baby we both feel is supposed to be part of our family. I started my period the next day, the same day they started the chemo and it was too late to bank. Not that we could have afforded it anyway. It was like dealing with a death on top of everything else. But, I was also thankful in some ways because being pregnant right now would have just made this much more difficult. <br /> <br />Since then, they were able to determine that he has a rare and aggressive form of Leukemia called APML. It affects only 1 in 250,000 people and about 60% of people who get it will die of a brain hemorrhage before they are ever diagnosed. We thank God for that wood pile because otherwise, we may have just thought it was a really bad flu and I could have woken up within days and had him already gone. But anyway, he got 4 chemo treatments in 8 days which killed off his bone marrow and left him with no immune system. He was in the hospital from April 13th to May 22nd. It has been the hardest experience of my life and yet I have seen so many blessings, have been so humbled by all that people have done to help us and have learned how many people in this world are just plain good. :) <br /> <br />We found out a couple of weeks ago that in order for this to not come back as soon as he leaves the hospital, he has to be on a drug therapy called ATRA for the next 2 yrs. Without insurance, it would cost between $6-7000 a month. With insurance, our cost will be $900 a month. So thankful for good insurance. But, even with that, we don't have $900 a month extra. But we will find a way because he has to have it. We are asking for thoughts and prayers, if you are the praying type. We believe in the power of prayer and feel ok asking people to do that. <br /> <br />Anyway, I guess the point of typing that all out is that life can go from normal one day to not good the next. Cherish the people around you. Be thankful for even the things that seem hard, the challenges and the life trials. In hindsight I can totally see how so many things we went through prepared us to be able to face this challenge."<br /><br />Now that he is home, I am struggling with different emotions but I will save that for a later post since this one is already so long.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-89268301676336938102011-01-19T00:45:00.001-07:002011-01-19T00:45:29.501-07:00Another cute giveaway!http://www.dandygiveaway.com/2011/01/17/giveaway-allis-originals/#comment-18080Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-44093524358975240672011-01-18T20:15:00.003-07:002011-01-18T20:17:13.723-07:00Another awesome Giveaway!Head on over to I {heart} naptime for another chance to win!<br /><br />http://iheartnaptime.blogspot.com/2011/01/silhouette-sd-machine-giveaway-wahoo.htmlHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-21889298695952091252011-01-18T20:15:00.001-07:002011-01-18T20:15:56.101-07:00Another awesome Giveaway!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-34389460322706591632011-01-18T16:47:00.000-07:002011-01-18T16:49:17.457-07:00Awesome Giveaway!Keeping it Simple is giving away a Silhouette Cutting machine! Check it out here:<br /><br />http://craftskeepmesane.blogspot.com/2011/01/silhouette-promotion-review-and.html<br /><br />Good Luck!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-29378700489124249472008-10-24T16:32:00.000-06:002008-10-28T00:07:57.409-06:00Update!Daxton is getting so big! Here is some of my favorite pictures of him:<br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 640px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 480px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures286-1.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 640px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 480px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures248.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 640px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 480px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures165.jpg" border="0" /> </div><br /><br /><div>So much has been happening with our family. In August, we went to a family reunion in Idaho. We stayed in Mack's Inn which is just past Island Park. Here is the cabin we stayed in:</div><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures166sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>We drove up on a Friday night and met my parents there. Saturday morning we went for breakfast with my dad's family who has a beautiful cabin in Island Park. It was fun to see family that we rarely see and to let the kids play. Poor little Dax had a terrible time. </div><br /><br /><div>After breakfast, Jack and the kids went with my aunt and uncle and their family to float a river. I stayed back at the cabin with my mom, dad and Dax since the river float was about a 3 hour trip. They had a great time. Mason only fell in the river twice on accident and 3 times on purpose! He is a silly kid. When they got back, we roasted hot dogs outside our little cabin.</div><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures152sm.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures151sm.jpg" border="0" /> <img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures154sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><div></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 448px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures155sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures158sm.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><div>No, Zander is not drinking Diet Pepsi. We rinsed out the bottle and gave him water. </div><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures157sm.jpg" border="0" /> <div><br /><br />That night we went back to the Island Park cabin for dinner and games. Daxton cried most of the time and I spent a lot of time in the house while everyone else was outside. We ended up leaving a little early because he was having such a hard time. We didn't know then why he was struggling so much but now know it is because he is allergic to dairy. Things have gotten much better now. <br /><div><br />Sunday morning, we drove up into Yellowstone. We saw a big moose almost immediately after entering the park so we had to get out to look at him.</div><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures170sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />Not long after the moose sighting, we discovered a big buffalo walking on the street. I took this picture standing on the front seat of the van with my head and camera sticking out the sunroof. </div><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures183sm.jpg" border="0" /> The kids had a ton of fun. We got out at several places to look at geysers and other little walks that were marked off.<br /></div><br /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures175sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures171sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures174sm.jpg" border="0" /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures192sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures193sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures210sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures201sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures216sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures214sm.jpg" border="0" />Here is part of the group waiting for Old Faithful to blow. There is Jack (with the goofy face), Daxton (sitting on Jack's lap), Grandma Terrie, and Alyssa.<br /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures246sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />And here is Old Faithful. She is still pretty faithful!</div><br /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures259sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />We spent the rest of the day driving home. We came back through Jackson Hole, WY. Over the course of Friday to Sunday, we drove through Utah, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming. Not bad to do 4 states in 3 days. By the time we got home we were pretty tired of being in the car but it was a nice little trip before school started again. </div><br /><br /><br /><div><br />The next day was Alyssa and Mason's first day of school. Here they are standing out in our front yard just before we walked over to the school:</div><br /><br /><br /><div><br /></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures264sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />Alyssa standing out by where her class lines up:</div><br /><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 448px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures267sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />And her walking in to class, getting ready to shake her teacher's hand. Her teacher's name is Mrs. Ball and she is a delightful woman from Great Britain. I could listen to her accent all day!</div><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures272sm.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><br /><br /><div>Here is Mason standing outside where his class lines up:</div><br /><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 448px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures270sm.jpg" border="0" /></div><br /><br /><br /><div>And waving goodbye to mom as he walks in for his first day!</div><br /><br /><br /><div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 448px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 336px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures273sm.jpg" border="0" /><br />The following week, my little Zander started preschool. These are the only pictures he would let us take.</div><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 448px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures276sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><div></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 336px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 448px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures278sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><div></div>Zander has preschool two days a week and he is loving it. We are so proud of all our kids.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-75648258272848883902008-08-27T10:43:00.000-06:002008-08-27T11:06:18.595-06:00Big Update!Ok so it has been WAY too long since I have been here! But life has been crazy so this might be long. Lets go back... way back to July 8th. <div><div><div><div></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">WE HAD OUR BABY!!!</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:180%;">Daxton Zane Rapp</span></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures028sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures040sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures011-1.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures029sm.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>He was 7 lbs 2 oz and 18 and 3/4 inches long. He has tons of hair! He had to be on the bili lights for 4 days in the hospital and then another 4 days after he got home. It wasn't the funnest thing on the planet but at least he got better! </div><div></div><div></div><div><br /> </div><div>Shortly after, my incision opened up and we are still packing that two times a day. </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /> </div><div>A week after my incision opened up, I woke up in the middle of the night with a very high fever and chills. My stomach also hurt REALLY BAD. I couldn't even get up out of bed by myself. I went to the ER and the wanted to admit me but I resisted. Two days later I was there anyway. I spent 3 more days in the hospital but at least they let Daxton stay with me. After I was released, I felt a lot better and hope to never feel that bad again. </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /> </div><div>Daxton is growing like crazy. He also has reflux so he is grumpy and cries a lot. He also wants to be held all day long. Luckily his mommy likes to hold him but it is doing a number on my back. A friend of mine let me borrow a sling and I think that will help once I really figure out how to use it. At least I was able to make dinner with both hands last night. </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /> </div><div>Anyway, he is now 7 wks old and I am still on antibiotics and my incision is still not totally healed but I think we are close! So, cross your fingers that nothing else comes up! </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /> </div><div>So, don't you just think he is a cutie??? </div></div></div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-89949515774015155872008-06-16T17:48:00.001-06:002008-06-16T17:54:46.677-06:00HOT HOT HOT!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRGT7Cb84S2YIVKEP2ZhluAvc2SelzOhjT2EPKDqGGcJO85c0rN-31V6nO_OHHELTdq7jYqr0ElYEXnJjMy7RD_WmY0lQXe2kYQf1msGEtNCm1oE4K77LPSWpGfOa24qFPy9JyaGS0XO4/s1600-h/hot.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212630853651191202" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRGT7Cb84S2YIVKEP2ZhluAvc2SelzOhjT2EPKDqGGcJO85c0rN-31V6nO_OHHELTdq7jYqr0ElYEXnJjMy7RD_WmY0lQXe2kYQf1msGEtNCm1oE4K77LPSWpGfOa24qFPy9JyaGS0XO4/s320/hot.jpg" border="0" /></a> This is how I feel. I don't do heat. I especially don't do heat when I am so pregnant I could be mistaken for a large bellied animal. And yet, here I am. My kids say my hands feel like they are going to start on fire and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they did. I can't sleep. I feel like crap.<br /><br /><br />Yes, I am whining.<br /><br /><br />Can't we just order snow for the next 22 days? Pretty please?<br /><br /><br />At least I have found motivation to clean out my fridge and freezer. It is nice and cool in those places!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-81448830639169872372008-06-15T22:47:00.000-06:002008-06-15T23:19:10.894-06:00Zander Turns 4!!! Oh, and it's Father's DayMy kids decided that today would be a great day to adjust our sleep schedule. I had set my alarm for 9 am so we could get up and make Jack breakfast in bed, as is the tradition for Father's Day (I get the same on Mothers Day and it is great!). Zander had me up at 6:50 am. He is lucky it was his birthday or I might have been really unhappy with him! <br /> <br /><div><div><div></div><div></div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Jack had a special request this year. He wanted pancakes with extra sugar and whipped cream so they tasted like sugar cookies. Oh, and he wanted hash browns with them. Heathly huh? Well, I had never made these particular pancakes before. They are Jack's thing. I don't tend to add sugar to anything. It took me over an hour to get 4 pancakes to actually turn out right. He loved them so I guess it was worth it. </div><div> <br /></div><div> </div><div> </div><div>We also celebrated Zander's Big #4. Here are some pictures:<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIH000zHf7mUmZ4GiO2I9Mc6i2A6q969u7SHiu-eJdZblnr6QCxGDdNwPgxevwDNCFvLYqXYjirk6q9mPt7YaJjeXJBPtdvLbKY8niUGy4PDu6Z2DmQdBn0UUoO150d6VP2VvbY2OrqmY/s1600-h/Pictures+043.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212338710215968562" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIH000zHf7mUmZ4GiO2I9Mc6i2A6q969u7SHiu-eJdZblnr6QCxGDdNwPgxevwDNCFvLYqXYjirk6q9mPt7YaJjeXJBPtdvLbKY8niUGy4PDu6Z2DmQdBn0UUoO150d6VP2VvbY2OrqmY/s320/Pictures+043.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipuA4CQCXlv5l5rYFl41gax3iG2PpIXq8gpnrKlSyLuzK2ZhXBCmXTssexf7-lg2oywyGZfShkdB_U3jlGVXHtm013lwh3c9GjGsMr2VYojLG-S1OH1pQBAml7cLLymhszg4cwXszSTUQ/s1600-h/Pictures+066.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212339169422148642" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipuA4CQCXlv5l5rYFl41gax3iG2PpIXq8gpnrKlSyLuzK2ZhXBCmXTssexf7-lg2oywyGZfShkdB_U3jlGVXHtm013lwh3c9GjGsMr2VYojLG-S1OH1pQBAml7cLLymhszg4cwXszSTUQ/s320/Pictures+066.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuIAW1F_pNx51icO6DyWCLR14yPoFadQQ_c-SCBMWDnIWgRRvYmLJ4SM43cxYKMW8Fg7db5od8jSwAIh4E-KdL7L3WTnLvBXjdnyMWE6ZK4ePDUkpp1LtwTMLzikhCjRrbp8fwWlXCwwo/s1600-h/Pictures+071.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212339465649403490" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuIAW1F_pNx51icO6DyWCLR14yPoFadQQ_c-SCBMWDnIWgRRvYmLJ4SM43cxYKMW8Fg7db5od8jSwAIh4E-KdL7L3WTnLvBXjdnyMWE6ZK4ePDUkpp1LtwTMLzikhCjRrbp8fwWlXCwwo/s320/Pictures+071.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div></div><div>And here is a pic of the sad little pirate ship cake I attempted. I am really not a talented cake person. =0) But Zand was happy so that is what matters. </div><br /><div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgwLsvxh_VRYWV84oC-Q9ztCrZGoSidO5Un8HfZZh2ry2M_nvSvvbVDK_hEooTHAz80lihfU1WdH9RMag12ZLS4QZw67OCD1ITX6DVQQNrUr1LA-y-RnUuOJ57ONIHPSO340SMriJcXI/s1600-h/Pictures+103.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212341605655047346" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgwLsvxh_VRYWV84oC-Q9ztCrZGoSidO5Un8HfZZh2ry2M_nvSvvbVDK_hEooTHAz80lihfU1WdH9RMag12ZLS4QZw67OCD1ITX6DVQQNrUr1LA-y-RnUuOJ57ONIHPSO340SMriJcXI/s320/Pictures+103.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>It is sad to have your kids grow up. But at the same time, it is great to see the little people they are becoming. Zand is a little light in our lives with a smile that lights up his entire face. I am so glad that he is part of our family. </div><br /><div></div><div>And, I am grateful for Jack too. I felt a little bad he had to share Father's Day with a birthday because Father's Day sort of took a back seat but he did get into the festivities:</div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212342622903728914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip-7Y7SJUl5GQlo31DiIfdV2-0bfvLFS7uxAoFDFuVnYYaQNlSi8tB9zrMDi9VV3h_oT7erQzkQXON7uKyNH8tf8r1UWyUjH3Hotc9Jgq_LoPEoaStT3ZbRQrLrWF9U74zLqS4UyofkYo/s320/Pictures+085.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>He would totally kill me if he knew that I was putting that picture on here! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!<br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-73247455173810020342008-06-13T23:43:00.001-06:002008-06-14T00:02:25.151-06:00<div>The countdown is on! As of tomorrow, I have 24 days until this baby arrives! I am still in denial that I will actually come home with a baby. </div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday, I went shopping for father's day. I was at Home Depot. I barely got dressed, combed through my hair and brushed my teeth before I left the house. I felt huge all over. As I was getting ready to leave, I actually got hit on! And he didn't even look like he belonged in a pyscho ward somewhere. He was a normal nice looking guy. I have now decided that there needs to be a group of men who goes out and hits on very pregnant women because it makes them feel really, really great!</div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>I am really looking forward to Sunday. Not only is it Father's Day but it is Zander's birthday. I can't believe he is going to be 4! Seems like just yesterday he was a little baby! </div><div></div><div><br /></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211611318124357058" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMqemjfRP_Irl1zYWNFVN2PJZTy23O-6GMFZ6CUcIW-Xdi6k-P-w5QWNc0uaKzZi5yZAE6t1cdKkpKRq8Z-6FbZQEm4GN6ZyvVfKgjxHkdX1ED7UktKux_cExZXsgTtINq9InFeKxFR9Q/s200/004142303_05.jpg" border="0" /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPpVdBGVuHavFm_4nH5qAF_3oT_ulp4oQFyHdoKx_r4Itf0GDEXgDuY2IgvD4rnwqL7znOVHy4p1HEs3CHmwoy0SKRSnmU7vYtIOAz8jwwOZ1ux9iMCgMX_p-0ytwF8KtdqGPU8ANBRU/s1600-h/Pictures+090.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211612996280734226" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVPpVdBGVuHavFm_4nH5qAF_3oT_ulp4oQFyHdoKx_r4Itf0GDEXgDuY2IgvD4rnwqL7znOVHy4p1HEs3CHmwoy0SKRSnmU7vYtIOAz8jwwOZ1ux9iMCgMX_p-0ytwF8KtdqGPU8ANBRU/s200/Pictures+090.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div> </div><div> </div><div>And now he is a big boy!</div><div> </div><div>Time flies! </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-60709195399567913072008-05-13T20:44:00.000-06:002008-05-13T20:59:53.304-06:00Long time no post!Well, I guess it is time to update my blog! I have been putting it off because I felt like I needed to catch up but honestly, that just won't happen. We have been to Disneyland and St. George, we are having a baby boy in 8 wks, we have had dance competitions, Jack started the nursing program, had to drop some classes and now is starting a new paid cohort group through the U at SLCC. Things are crazy.<br /><br />Anyway, what I wanted to post about today. I am having a rough week. Last year on Mother's Day (which was on May 13, 2007 - exactly a year ago today), I had a secret. I was having a baby that was due on New Years Day 2008. I planned on telling my mom the next day when she went with me for an ultrasound. I was 7 wks. Mother's Day last year was the last day of peace I had with that pregnancy because I believed that everything was fine. Turned out that it wasn't. A year ago tomorrow, I found out that my baby had a fatal defect and was going to die, either during the first trimester or, if he/she made it past that point, within the first few hours of life. It was one of the worst days of my life.<br /><br />Having a little one growing inside of me right now takes away the sting a little bit but it is still difficult to look back. The 4 wks of wondering whether or not my baby was going to be in the 5% who might make it to birth was beyond painful. I really hope that once all these year milestones pass, that things won't be as painful and that every year it will get easier. That is my hope anyway. But I will always wonder where that little one is now, whether it will be mine in the next life or not. All I have is hope...Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-16566141370596719582007-09-23T16:00:00.001-06:002007-09-23T16:12:02.629-06:00Please Pass the PicklesSo, life is like.... a jar of pickles? Or more the becoming a jar of pickles. This was the message from church today. That we start as a cucumber and have to be submerged in brine in order to transform ourselves into pickles. The problem I have is that I really like cucumbers. It is pickles I don't like.... AT ALL. Now, I am smart enough to know that it is only an analogy but for me, to think of life's trials as a process to become my inner pickle, or the best pickle I can be, just isn't going to work. So, I am creating my own pickle analogy.<br /><br />How NOT to become a pickle:<br /><br />In order for a cucumber to become a pickle, it has to be submerged in brine for however long in order to transform. Pickles are yucky and sour and I don't want to be a pickle. So in my analogy, brine is anything that would make me yucky and sour and which I should avoid in order to maintain my yummy cucumberness. The moral of the story: Avoid the brine of life and stay a yummy cucumber.<br /><br />The kids sang at church today and had little speaking parts. We realized when we got home that Mason, who is 6 and who hasn't figured out how to button his own pants, must have used the bathroom before the program. Yep, he stood up there singing for an hour with his pants undone. It is these moments that mothers are most proud of their children. But, I have to give the kid credit. He did his part, pants undone and all!<br /><br />Zander has really adjusted to going into the nursery and loves it now. He loves his teacher and loves to sing songs. It is sad to see him growing up so fast. Alyssa is just my sweet Alyssa. She really just does what she is told. I don't know how I got so lucky. I will have to save this so that when she is 15 and making me crazy I can come back and see that she started out as a good little girl!<br /><br />49 days until we leave for Disneyland. Alyssa and Mason want to make a chain. Zand just wants to go NOW. I can accommodate the older two. Poor Zander will just have to wait. I am getting excited though. We really need a vacation!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-65422465937877692452007-09-22T16:17:00.000-06:002007-09-22T16:39:30.270-06:00Lifetime and Laundry - A Perfect CombinationIt is raining outside today which makes any day a good day. Add to that the fact that it is a Saturday and Lifetime plays movies all day for me to watch while I catch up on laundry and you have a real winner! Mason is upstairs playing Star Wars and Zand is playing dinosaurs in the room with me. Jack is, sadly, at work. Alyssa is off with her friend Kenadee. They went to a family reunion for dinner. I really do miss her when she is gone. But it is raining and I am smiling. And she will be home in about 30 minutes. =0)<br /><br />My house is a wreck. I clean it all day and it is still a wreck. I have even taken to paying the kids to clean it and it is still a wreck. I am convinced that there are little creatures that I can't see that make messes in whatever room I am not in. They are especially good at their job. Much better than I am at mine. If I can ever figure out to communicate with them, I may just pay them to clean my house. After all, they have talent. And everyone knows that you pay imaginary creatures with imaginary money and that I have a lot of! Yipee!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-35323605559078974592007-09-19T22:12:00.000-06:002007-09-19T22:16:46.089-06:00The Death of Expensive AppliancesOur washing machine finally bit the dust today. Of course, it couldn't wait until tomorrow since I had planned to catch up on laundry today. I feel quite fortunate though. I have a great friend who was kind enough to do a load of laundry at her house so I would have some clothes to wear! (Thank you!)<br /><br />Another friend of mine luckily had an extra washing machine that she was willing to just give to us. She said that it would bring her good karma and she was happy to know she was helping us out. I really am lucky to have good friends. =0)Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-7801872720115203662007-09-19T11:45:00.000-06:002007-09-19T13:07:00.523-06:00<strong><em>Sunday, Sept. 16</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />I took Alyssa and Mason to the After Hours Clinic today. Going anywhere with kids is always an adventure. We walked in and Alyssa and Mason proceeded to the fish tank while I waited to sign her in. Mason yells at me from across the room, "Mom, what does it mean if a rock is walking?" I reassure him that it must be a crab if it is walking. He insists it is a rock because it looks just like the other rocks. I get Alyssa signed in and head over the fish tank. I pointed out for mason the legs on the "rock" and tell him that the crab looks like a rock so it will blend in with the rest of the tank and so big fish won't try to eat it. For the next 45 minutes, while we wait to go back, I have to try to identify every part of the tank that is a crab instead of a rock. Then he gets the crazy idea that one of the crabs could break the glass and get out and get him. So, he is studying them from a distance to see if they really will be strong enough to break through. Once he gets bored of the "rocks" he asks if fish have ears. I told him to look and see. So he decides that fish don't have ears. Then he wants to know why fish can't breathe out of water. This goes on the entire time while Alyssa sits quietly looking at a Sports Illustrated magazine. It is amazing to me that the two of them came from the same gene pool and are being raised in the same home.<br /><br />Finally, we get to go back to see the doctor. The nurse does the initial tests on Alyssa and then leaves. Mason, in his loud voice, says, "I hope the doctor isn't old!" right as the doctor opens the door. I just shook my head because after 6 yrs of living with this kid, I know that he will just say what he is thinking no matter what I tell him. Turns out that Alyssa didn't have strep throat but some viral tonsillitis which should just go away on it's own. Good news!<br /><br />Later, we went to my parents house for my Sister In Laws birthday. My mom was funny. We did cake but forgot to sing or do candles. So after my parents got home from a viewing they had to attend, my mom made us all gather back in the kitchen and put candles in the half of the cake that was left so we could sing. We got home much later than I would have liked especially for a school night. But that is what happens when mom gets overly involved in solving a cross word puzzle with her brother!<br /><br /><strong><em>Tuesday, Sept. 18</em></strong><br /><br />Alyssa woke up today complaining that her hands felt funny. Upon investigating, I found that her hands were puffy and a little pink. Otherwise, she was fine. So, I took her to school and called her doctor who made an appt for her in the afternoon. After dropping Mason off at Kindergarten, I checked Alyssa out of school and took her in. Alyssa has also been complaining of pains in her feet for well over a year and recently of pain in her hip joints, shoulders, and neck. Her doctor seems concerned because she also has had a significant (for an 8 yr old) weight gain since she saw her last. I just kept thinking that she was getting ready to grow and so she was growing out before she grew up. The growing up part just hasn't happened yet. So, I guess Thursday or Friday we need to take her in and have a bunch of blood work done. They will be testing her thyroid and also running tests for auto-immune disorders. It breaks my heart to think of having to deal with this. I have watched my good friend with her son who has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. It is terribly sad to see a young child have to deal with lifelong problems. And I am scared. I don't know what this might mean for her. Hopefully it will be nothing. But if it is nothing, what is causing the pains and the weight gain?<br /><br />Once that shocking experience was over, we took her back to school to finish out the day. My kids were excited to have my friend's kids come over and play for a little while after school. Poor Zander cried when they left though. He really loves those kids. I then took Alyssa to dance. I wrote the wrong time down and got her there 15 minutes late. Luckily her teacher was understanding and it didn't end up being a big deal.<br /><br />We also had a big event today. Alyssa made her first batch of cookies all by herself. They were good too. She got a cookbook from a school fieldtrip and so they were healthy cookies but really yummy! She was really proud of herself! And I was proud of her.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-9159741914981471102007-09-15T23:33:00.000-06:002007-09-16T00:15:05.025-06:00Reading, Writing, and Germs... School must be in session!Well, we are 2 wks into school and I think we have our first sickness. Alyssa started complaining tonight that her throat hurt. Of course, she doesn't say anything about it until we had company at about 8 pm. <div><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures026.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures026.jpg" border="0" /></a>Jack's brother and his wife had come for a visit. It is always nice having them come over or vice versa. They have two great little boys, Josh and Ty. Josh and Mason are about a month apart and Ty and Zander are about the same. We didn't plan either of them being so close together but it just worked out that way. They stayed for a while and we visited. Shortly afterward, Alyssa asked Jack to look at her throat. Jack is certain that she probably has strep throat. Of course, by this time, the after hours urgent care places are all closed so we will have to wait until morning. </div><br /><div></div><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures008-1.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures008-1.jpg" border="0" /></a>Also, my father in law called tonight. Jack's sister's poor little guy has had more problems in the first year of his life than anyone I know. He has had open heart surgery, been on oxygen and had to have surgery to divide his two middle fingers on both hands. Turns out that one of them is badly infected. Jack went with his dad to the hospital to help give the little guy a blessing. I feel so bad for Jack's sister, Chrisy. They have been through so much this year. We love them and hope things get better. </div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-35350157422835575612007-09-15T11:04:00.000-06:002007-09-15T18:53:21.002-06:00Week of Sept. 9<div><div><div><strong><em>Sunday Sept. 9</em></strong><br /><div><div><div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures121.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures121.jpg" border="0" /></a>We had a great day on Sunday. We took the afternoon to do a nature hike up Lambs Canyon. When I was a child, some family friends had a cabin up that canyon and it has been one of my favorites ever since. We put the kids in the tie dyed shirts they made at the Labor Day BBQ and they looked great! It was a really nice day and some of the most beautiful scenery I think there is on this planet. </div><div><br />Here are some pictures from our hike:</div><div></div><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures094.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures094.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures083.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures083.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />You can see Zander in this picture if you look close enough:<br /><br /><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures082.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures082.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div>Alyssa and Mason striking a pose:</div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures005.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Lambs%20Canyon/Pictures005.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div> </div><div><strong><em>Monday Sept. 10</em></strong></div><br /><div>Monday morning I had to go down town for a meeting. Upon leaving, I went to start my car and there was a problem. Car started and ran until I let go of the key and then it shut off. I called Jack and he informed me that it sounded like the ignition switch. Like anyone who knows anything about cars, he had a most profound set of instructions for me. "Just jiggle it a little and try it again." I rolled my eyes. That is like smacking an appliance because it won't work. Convinced that it wasn't going to work, I jiggled the dumb thing just to humor him. Lo and behold, the car kept running after I let go of the key. I will have to remember that for future car trouble. The rest of the day, I just jiggled the key and it started right up. The marvels of modern automotive technology! </div><br /><div><strong><em>Tuesday Sept. 11</em></strong></div><div><strong><em></em></strong><br /><a href="http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u148/MozVegas73/Americanflag.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u148/MozVegas73/Americanflag.jpg" border="0" /></a>Today, I made sure to take some time to reflect upon the freedoms that living in this country afford me. I thought about what this day, 6 yrs ago meant to me, how I felt on that day and how I feel today. Sept. 11, 2001 was a life changing day for me. It was the day that I learned to cherish the days I have with my children, the day I first felt fear about what the world would look like when my children were my age. And it was the day that I had hope that Americans could find it in their hearts to become a kinder group of people. </div><br /><div></div><div>I was relieved when I was able to climb into bed that night and the world, although not really a safe place, wasn't any different than it had been when I woke up in the morning. Now I have no doubt that there are those out there who are plotting against us, who are hoping to harm us but for today, they did nothing on American soil. </div><div></div><br /><div><strong><em>Wednesday, Sept. 12</em></strong></div><div></div><div> </div><div>Granite School district has started a new "thing." From what I understand, they are encouraging teachers to collaborate. I am not exactly sure what the purpose is but what it means to students and parents is that one Wednesday a month, we have an extra early day. The first one was today. I feel like we are never going to have a normal school week. So far, we had our first week of school. The next week, we were off for Labor Day and then the next day too in order to make up for SEP (Student Education Plan) conferences. So that week we only had three days of school. This week, five days but two of them are early days. Anyway, extra early days... they have shortened the kids' lunches by 5 minutes a day to make up for it. I am yet to figure out how they are making up for the extra hour Kindergarteners miss since they don't have lunch at school. </div><br /><div></div><div>This is also the day that my ignition switch decided to totally die. In order to drive anywhere, I had to hold the key turned not too far but far enough to keep the car running. The AC wouldn't work and neither would the radio, unless of course, I accidentally let off the pressure on the key and the car lost it's power. Then the radio turned on, the AC turned on but the car wouldn't go. I had to pull over, completely stop, put the car in park, and then restart the car. I had to pull over 4 times between my house and Smiths, which is about half a block away. Jack tried to get the part the night before but it is a special order part now because Honda's very rarely have that part go bad. Go figure huh? </div><br /><div></div><div><strong><em>Thursday, Sept. 13</em></strong></div><div><strong><em></em></strong></div><br /><div>Today was a long crazy day! Jack got the car fixed late last night so at least I could drive without holding the key. I guess the switch had gotten so hot yesterday that it actually melted the solder in the part and it dripped on my shoe. I wondered what that silver stuff on my sandal was. I had tons of errands to run while the kids were at school. But it was nice to have my car actually turn on and stay on! </div><div></div><br /><div>Thursday nights I have an adult Hip Hop class. We have a new teacher and she kicked our butts tonight. We worked much harder than we usually do. When I got home, we quickly got ready to go and headed to a wedding reception with my mom. The kids had a great time running around. It was held outside at the home of the parents of the groom. I grew up with him and was really happy that he found someone to make him happy. We were getting ready to leave and poor Zand face planted on the asphalt. He was bleeding all over the place and wouldn't let me look at it. He sucked in his upper lip and then wouldn't talk or open his mouth for anything. It wasn't until he fell asleep that I was able to really take a look at what he did. His front teeth went through his upper lip and he skidded his lips on the ground. He looks pretty rough. But I think he will survive to see another day! </div><div></div><br /><div><strong><em>Saturday, Sept. 15</em></strong></div><div><strong><em></em></strong></div><br /><div>Today was great. I woke up and went jogging this morning. While I was out and about, I started smelling smoke. Something was definitely on fire. I eventually discovered the source. Someone had started a dumpster on fire. The fire department put it out and apparently there was nothing more to it. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures011.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures011.jpg" border="0" /></a>We also watched my nephew today. His name is Xavier. He is a cutie. He is almost 14 months old and one of the most determined kids I have ever seen. He is super happy and seems to just take everything in. We played toys, went for a ride in the car to pick up Alyssa from an activity she had and then we came back and played outside. He loved driving around in Zanders little car. And my kids had a great time playing with him. </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-31792992945996822122007-09-08T09:41:00.000-06:002007-09-08T09:42:43.756-06:00Hopefully next week I will be better about updating on a daily basis but this week has been so crazy that I just haven't had time! So, here is a recap!<br /><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><br /><div><em><strong>Monday - Labor Day</strong></em><br /></div><br /><div>I ever so kindly persuaded Jack to go with me and the kids to a bbq and tie dye party with a bunch of people he had never met. Anyone who knows Jack knows that he would rather walk a mile with a rusty nail through each of his feet than have to "socialize" with strangers. But he was a good sport and did it for me. The kids got to tie dye t-shirts. We had never really done official tie dying and it is quite an art form. Who knew? I guess I should say that I tie dyed the boys shirts and they told me what colors they wanted. Alyssa did hers almost entirely by herself. When we get them back, I will have to post pictures of how they turned out! </div><div><br /><em><strong>Tuesday 9/04/07<br /></strong></em></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/8051.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/8051.jpg" border="0" /></a>Tuesday evening the storm clouds started to roll in. I had been on the phone with a friend of mine who lives in Tooele. Her husband saw a funnel cloud coming out of the sky. It didn't touch down but was a good indication of what was to come our way. Me, being a storm loving person, was beyond excited. When the wind started to blow, I knew that we were in for a good one. When the kids toys outside started flying through the air, I knew it was time to go out and weight everything down. Before I could do so, our inflatable swimming pool flew up over our shed and then over the neighbors house, into the school yard behind them and kept on going. We went looking for them but trees were falling and we figured it was just a pool. (It actually showed <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures016.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures016.jpg" border="0" /></a>up back at our doorstep a couple of days later...). One of our neighbors said she saw a play pen fly by her second story window. These are not the kind of storms we usually see. Aside from the fact that my kids were terrified that we were going to see our house sucked up into the sky (too much tv), I was in storm bliss. The wind continued to blow. Our neighbors who live across the street and who's house our pool flew over, lost a section of their fence. They took it well though.<br /></div><br /><div>After the wind came the rain and the lightning. It was amazing and I wish I had a picture of it. It struck a transformer nearby and left some of our neighbors powerless for at least 24 hours or more. Usually, if anyone in the valley has a power outage, our power decides it sounds like fun and follows along. So much for free thinking power lines huh? But, amazingly enough, we didn't even get a blip! </div><br /><div>I borrowed some reader submitted photos from KSL's website:<br /><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/593.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/593.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/599.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/599.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/603.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/603.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/2112394.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/2112394.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div>As far as storms go, it was amazing. And I am so glad that we didn't suffer any real damage to our home or our things.<br /></div><br /><div><em><strong>Wednesday 9/05/07</strong></em><br /></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures023.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures023.jpg" border="0" /></a>Today was Mason's first day of school! He started Kindergarten. He is an older kindergartener because last year at this time, he lived in a land of make believe and I was really concerned that the teachers wouldn't be able to teach him reality based concepts such as letters and numbers.<br /></div><br /><div>Preschool was great for him though. He learned a ton and had an excellent teacher!<br /></div><br /><div>If you can't tell in the background of this picture, it was pouring rain. It had been beautiful all morning long and well, up to about 5 minutes before we were supposed to take him. Now, I love a good storm but I wanted to walk him to school on his first day. Anyone who knows me though knows that I handle not getting my own way just fine.<br /></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures028.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures028.jpg" border="0" /></a>As soon as we got to the school, Mason made a friend. His name was Joseph. Mason's comment to him? "Wow, Joseph is a funny name. Don't you think my name is funny too?" Not sure if the look from his mother to me was one of contemplation as to whether or not Mason is a funny name too or whether she was displeased that the first thing said to her son on the first day of Kindergarten was another kid telling him that his name was funny. And since when is Joseph a funny name? But that is my kid!<br /></div><br /><div>He had a great day at school.<br /></div><br /><div>We also went that day and took some other photos of damage from the storm the night before.<br /></div><br /><div>They are here:<br /></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures017.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures017.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures020.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures020.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures022.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures022.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures040.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures040.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><div></div><br /><div><em><strong>Friday 9/07/07</strong></em></div><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures019.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures019.jpg" border="0" /></a>Alyssa had a great opportunity tonight. We signed her up for Taylorsville High Schools Mini Drill clinic. She had two nights of practice and then tonight they danced at the halftime of the football game. She did great! I was so proud of her and of course I think she was the best. What else is a mother supposed to think right? This other photo is of her on the field. It was too dark for a good photo and the flash made it darker because of the distance... but she is just so dang cute!</div><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures014.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/storm%20photos/Pictures014.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div></div><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5779096660334219419.post-47763807097572663132007-09-02T08:59:00.000-06:002007-09-02T10:19:08.593-06:00Me and MineWell, this is it! My first attempt at blogging. Truthfully, I have posted a few things on my MySpace page but they are so random that it hardly qualifies as a 'blog.'<br /><br />Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Heather. I don't know what to say about myself. I am a mere 5'2" and full of opinions and aspirations. There are just so many things I would like to do and I am quickly learning that I just don't have enough time on this earth to do them all. I would really like to someday find a way to better the world. But where do you start?<br /><br />I am married to a wonderful hardworking man named Jack. He is trying to hurry up and wait to get into the Nursing program. Actually, he has only been waiting for 2. 5 yrs and is finally going to be starting in January. He works really hard to take care of us. I couldn't ask for a more dedicated and giving husband. We have been married for just over 10 yrs. It has been a tumultuous ten years which has also been very blessed.<br /><br />Three of those wonderful blessings have names: Alyssa, Mason, and Zander.<br /><br /><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures022vert.jpg"></a><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures022vert.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures022vert.jpg" border="0" /></a>Alyssa is 8 yrs old and in 3rd grade this year. She is so beautiful! She is quiet and shy and yet precocious as well. She is smart and talented. She is on a competing dance team. This is her third year and she is getting so good. I am so proud of her. She loves animals of all kinds and wants to be a veternarian when she grows up. Either that, or sing 'Up on the Housetop' (yes, the Christmas song) on American Idol.<br /><br /><div><div><div><div><div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures059vert.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures059vert.jpg" border="0" /></a>Mason is 6. He is the family comedian. He is always finding things to make people laugh. He is starting Kindergarten on Wednesday and is so excited. His teacher was very impressed with all the things he already knew! I can't wait to see what he will accomplish this year. He loves superheros and is a little overobssessed with television. One of his favorite pasttimes is driving him mom crazy talking about Zelda and begging mom to play Zelda. He does everything in life with enthusiasm.<br /><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><br /><div><a href="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures052vert.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f67/hlovesjamz/Pictures052vert.jpg" border="0" /></a>Zander is 3. He is my little sweetheart. He loves his mommy and is attached with super glue. I wouldn't have it any other way. He loves trains and cars and airplanes. He walks around pretending to be a robot and he loves to give hugs and kisses. He is silly and has developed quite the propensity for teasing his brother and sister lately.<br /><br /></div><br /><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>We always planned on having 3 or 4 kids. After Zand, we knew we wanted one more. That has proven to be more difficult than we ever imagined. I have been pregnant twice this year, both resulting in a loss. The first was the result of a chemical pregnancy (<a href="http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/chemical-pregnancy.html">http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/chemical-pregnancy.html</a>). The second was a little more complicated. We had an ultrasound at 7 wks that showed that the baby was measuring behind and had a slightly slow heartbeat. I also had a subchorionic hemorrhage (<a href="http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/191.html">http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/191.html</a>) and an enlarged yolk sac. Long story short, the baby's heart stopped beating about 3 wks later. So, here we are... </div><br />Happily married, 3 beautiful children, and a crazy life!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347268313693478127noreply@blogger.com0